Greener on the other side

So I have been a Stay at Home Mom for over 3 years now. It was not too bad with only one child to take care of. But now that there are two, I'm going insane! I have friends that wish they were at home moms. I laugh. And they laugh at me for wanting to work. Some of them love being at home with their kids. Either they are crazy or they have angels for children.

The girls fight and whine all day. During the weekends it seems to get worse cause Joe's there. They always whine to him. Then when Monday comes he can't wait to go to work. I envy him and am very jealous that he gets to leave. So I'm looking for a job. Part-time, full-time it does not matter anything would be a break at this point.

Let me give you an example: I took the girls to the grocery store today so I could get stuff for Corina's Bday party and I warned them that they would get in trouble if they didn't behave. So what did they do? Misbehave of course! I had to give Sydney my phone just to be quiet. (If I was at home I would have let her cry but I feel so bad when we're in public and others have to hear my children scream, I think it's rude) Then Corina cried almost the whole time. I had to apologize to the cashier and when I did I almost cried. So on the way home I let it out. I cried and cried. It felt kinda good to get it off my chest but I feel that this is never ending chaos.

The only time I can get anything done is when Sydney is down for naps. I never have time to relax. If I put Corina down for a nap too then she won't sleep at night until after 10pm and then there goes my only 2 hours of ME time! You have to drop everything you're doing to make sure that Corina doesn't make Sydney mad. If you do not give them your undivided attention something will go wrong! I can't even clean the house with out them messing up what I just cleaned or breaking up a fight. It doesn't matter how many times I tell Corina to leave Sydney alone, she won't. I can punish her, put her in time out whatever. It doesn't work. We have tried being consistent with the discipline but it has not worked. I am at my wits end.

I'm not sure where we went wrong as parents but it does not seem fair. We were 2 for 2 with colic, then very rarely do we get a full night sleep cause Corina seems to have night terrors or something. We have some friends that went on vacation without their kids and when they came back they said that they wished they would have taken them with them. What??????????? I guess we are the only ones out there that need breaks from their children. It makes me feel like an awful parent.

So please wish me luck on my job endeavor. Hopefully they call for an interview when the kids are asleep. If not they will probably hear my children screaming in the back ground and they will decided that if I can't keep my own children under control then they don't want to hire me. Sorry for the complaining but I really have to get this off of my chest. AGHHHHHH!

Don't get me wrong I love my girls. I would die for them. But I also don't want to be remembered as the mom that yelled all the time or punished them all the time. I would rather have the time we have together to be enjoyable rather than stressful.